Lili chats with Lisa Graye, founder of Little Graye Bakery. They discuss Lisa's path toward creating LGB, how she instilled purpose in her business, and the highs and lows of starting a bakery during a global pandemic.
TDQ Holiday Gift Guide!
Little Graye Bakery’s website
Through Jan. 2, 2021, get 15% off an Assorted Holiday Cookie Box when you mention TDQ!
Little Graye Bakery’s instagram: @littlegrayebakery
Lisa’s website
Lisa’s instagram: @lisagraye
Seth Godin Sunk Costs:
Podcast episode
Blog post
The Long and the Short of It Podcast Sunk Costs episode
“Do I Dare?: A Theatrical Sabbatical” A blog by Jenna Pastuszek of Innovative Voice Studio
Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
The Long and the Short of It Podcast New Routines episode
"Let's Stop Calling them Soft Skills" article by Seth Godin
TDQ’s Website
Instagram: @thedreadedquestion
Lili’s instagram: @lili_torre
Email: thedreadedquestionpodcast@gmail.com
TDQ Lisa Graye
[00:00:00] Lili Torre: Hello, and welcome back to The Dreaded Question podcast. I'm your host, Lili Torre, and today's guest is very near and dear to my heart, the one and only Lisa Graye, creator of Little Graye Bakery.
I met Lisa at the Jen Waldman Studio, I think at the beginning of this year, pre pandemic, but also what is time? We immediately hit it off, and I have always felt like the universe brought us together for a reason that fateful day. Shortly after Lisa and I met, the pandemic hit, and shortly after that, I launched the first round of the Doing It Also workshop of which Lisa was an integral part. During Doing It Also, Lisa discovered that baking was the parallel passion that fueled her and she launched her home bakery, Little Graye Bakery.
Since Doing It Also, she has stuck with me in the ongoing group, The Parallel Path, and has continued to nudge her parallel career forward with a brilliant group of parallel career change makers. Today, we're discussing how she found her purpose-driven parallel career, [00:01:00] the challenges she's faced, and the joys that have come from it.
And if you want to check out her baked goods, which like trust me, you do. They're delicious, and she can ship them to you. You can find her on the first ever TDQ Holiday Gift Guide. I'm linking the gift guide in the show notes below, where you can find a comprehensive list of the offerings of many familiar TDQ guests. You can brush up on their offerings, learn about any fun holiday offers, get an idea of their prices, and find the link to their site so that you can help support artists with parallel careers as you do your holiday shopping.
The guide is perfect for finding a gift to give and can also help you answer the sometimes-dreaded question, "What do you want for the holidays?" And there's a section of offerings that are entirely free! A treasure trove of podcasts, blogs, videos, and more that you can bundle and share with a loved one in your life, which will certainly spark joy for them and for your wallet.
[00:02:00] As a bonus Little Graye Bakery is offering 15% off of their Assorted Holiday Cookie Box to any TDQ listeners who mentioned TDQ when they place their order, now through January 2nd. So scroll on down to the show notes, to find a link to Little Graye Bakery's website, and a link to the first annual TDQ Holiday Gift Guide, and support your favorite TDQ guests!
And now let's find out what Lisa Graye is up to.
So Lisa Graye, what are you up to?
Lisa Graye: Well, my answer for right now is I am up to change.
Lili Torre: Ooh, change! Tell me more!
Lisa Graye: Yeah. I am feeling the fall. It is, you know, the beginning of autumn and with everything that is going on there is this like cumulation of change in the air right now. And I'm feeling it so deeply. And with [00:03:00] that comes a lot of fear.
Lili Torre: Yes. That is real.
Lisa Graye: Yeah. So, so within this change, you know, change equals growth and growing is scary and doing different things is scary.
But I am in the middle of doing a lot of different things right now, amidst all the change. So it's a growing, learning process of what is to come and what will be in the future. But you have to change in order to go there.
Lili Torre: Definitely. What are some of the changes that you're experiencing right now?
Lisa Graye: Well, I think the biggest thing is that I started a business. Yeah. I opened Little Graye Bakery, which is a bakery that I run out of Harlem and it is dedicated towards activism, action and advocacy.
And the whole point of the bakery is that we pair and partner with different organizations every month in order to support them, share their [00:04:00] stories, and donate 10% of the proceeds that we make from the bakery to their organization.
So it's been a lot of figuring out and I'm in month two of that. So that is definitely a change from what was pre-COVID.
Lili Torre: Yeah, definitely. I mean, I just love Little Graye Bakery. I'm definitely biased because I've been with you through so much of the journey, and I've also been a very happy customer of your delicious, amazing creations, especially the coffee cake. It's amazing, order it if you can.
But I, I just love the purpose behind it. And I'd love to hear more about what inspired you to, you know, incorporate this element of change making and advocacy, when you could have just opened a bakery.
Lisa Graye: Yeah, I think, it, it stemmed from... really the murder of George Floyd. And I think a lot of us had this eye [00:05:00] opening moment, a lot of, us meaning people of privilege, people that are not in the BIPOC community. And there was this moment where, what I wanted to do needed to go beyond myself because it just, it felt icky to continue to do work that wasn't in support of other people.
So that, that was kind of the biggest moment. And I think for me, a huge part of baking is sharing. It's not necessarily about what happens in my kitchen, although I have a lot of fun doing that, but it, but it really is about the aftermath and where it's going.
And so I think with the baking, it was the perfect match of, the world is kind of exploding right now. And I saw the need for more advocacy and especially action because people were taking a lot of time to post about things and share. [00:06:00] And I, wasn't seeing a lot of, "Okay, well, what are you going to do about it?" So I think the, you know, it's, it's a small blip that will hopefully make a large impact in the future.
Lili Torre: Yes. You know, so much of what I love about this is that you're sort of amplifying this idea that change doesn't have to be enormous that these smaller incremental changes are, are meaningful and can do something. And I think it's so easy to sort of feel immobilized by, "Oh, whatever I do, won't be enough." Or, you know, "The amount that I have to contribute or donate monetarily isn't enough."
But what I love about what you're doing is that the impact is really two fold. It's, yes, the donation of a portion of the proceeds, which is wonderful and definitely impactful and amazing, but it's also the [00:07:00] platform and the amplifying of the stories of these organizations.
And I'd love to hear a little bit more about what encouraged you to do that element of things and how that works with Little Graye Bakery.
Lisa Graye: Yeah I think really I'm a storyteller, right? We're we're artists. We I'm an actor primarily pre COVID, I guess I'm still an actor, but, but I'm a storyteller. And so I think it's important for me to tell people's stories. Because with advocacy, it's not my story that I'm telling. So I want to be able to have a platform where people feel like they have a quote, unquote, safe space to come on and share their perspectives because we all have different stories to tell.
Lili Torre: Right. I love that. I mean, it's, it's such a great use of the platform, and it's such a generous way to allow people to share their own stories rather than sort of [00:08:00] interpreting it yourself and, you know, graciously sort of giving the spotlight to those people, I think is incredibly generous, but also purpose driven, which I obviously love.
And I also love that you're incorporating who you are and what you do. The fact that you're like, "I'm a storyteller, I'm an artist. Let me incorporate that into the work that I'm doing," that this doesn't have to be entirely separate from that.
Lisa Graye: Hundred percent. And also what you said about small change is that doesn't feel bigger than me when it is a collaborative storytelling platform. Because it's just a moment, right. We're telling one story, one person's perspective. So it doesn't feel like this "I'm trying to take over the world" feeling.
Cause I can't, I can't do that. I'm just me. But when someone else gets to have their moment and then other moments and then they're all collective, it turns into a larger change.
Lili Torre: Absolutely. Yes. I think that's so [00:09:00] smart. And you know, we talk about this a lot, that it's so important to make what you're doing sustainable. And I think what you just said about, it would be too overwhelming to try to take over the world and change every person's mind and, you know, take on that task. And part of the reason for that is it's not sustainable. It's not something that you can necessarily do entirely on your own.
So what can you do that's sustainable? What can you take on that's... that's enough for you to digest? And I absolutely think that that was a really smart way to go about it.
Lisa Graye: I have to thank all of my mentors and people who have helped me with that because it, it feels like the huge imposter monster just comes up and takes you for the darkness that they want you to be in.
And I, you know, it was a lot of the people that were helping me along the way that were saying, you know, "Take one bite at a time," which is now what my newsletter is called, and my mantra is like [00:10:00] "One bite at a time." And eventually you'll get to that larger goal.
Lili Torre: Yes, exactly. And it's also just a good reminder with your baked goods to take one bite at a time because I want to swallow them whole. So it's important to know.
Lisa Graye: I'm right there with you.
Lili Torre: I would love to hear more, more about the process of deciding on and establishing this parallel career. I mean, obviously I know that you participated in the Doing It Also Workshop, which was such a treat, but I would love to know more about the personal process that you went through to discover that this was something that you not only wanted to do, but something that you could do.
Lisa Graye: Well, I listened to this wonderful podcast called The Dreaded Question.
Lili Torre: I was like "Oh! Which podcast? I'm so excited!"
Lisa Graye: And there was a nugget that you said, Lili, that was about monetizing the things that you like versus a hobby. And [00:11:00] that really stuck with me. I think you used the example of knitting and I was like, "Okay. I paint also, I love painting, but I don't want, I don't want to share that with anyone. That's that's just for me, that's what I do at night or whenever."
And baking was one of those things that I don't like to do solo. Yeah. So it is, it is that thing that I do solo in the kitchen, but the process doesn't get complete until it is shared with other people.
So it really started with, okay, how do I find a parallel career? Because right now a parallel career feels like it is needed more than ever since theater is not up and running. And the combination between what can I monetize, needing a parallel career, and just starting, was kind of how this came to life. It was the thing that, that made most sense.
And I'm on month two, so like I [00:12:00] said, this could end up being the thing that doesn't work as a parallel career for me, but I knew that I had to try in order to see if it would be the thing to monetize.
Lili Torre: That's amazing. I mean, there's always a million reasons not to do something. And I think that might be what a lot of people are feeling right now is realizing that, "Okay. A lot of my good excuses for not doing the things that I've thought about for so long are gone."
So I think it's really important for all of us to sit with, " Okay. So why am I not doing it now?" You know, this thing, we'll use your example. Like, why am I not starting a bakery now?
And of course there's all the excuses. Of course you can say, "Oh, well, like COVID just makes things hard and I'd really want, you know, a brick and mortar bakery, but I can't have that right now," and on and on and on, but I think it's so important for us to sit with [00:13:00] ourselves and sit with those thoughts and really get to the bottom of "Why haven't I done this? Why am I not doing this?" And, you know, really unpack that.
And it may very well be because I don't want to, if you had been like, I'm gonna sell my paintings or I'm going to do something with painting, you might've sat with that and gotten to the realization that this is really a hobby for me, and it's not something I want to monetize and that's important to know.
So then you can open other doors
Lisa Graye: A hundred percent. And I also think for me, I have not started a lot of things and have, let my fear and perfectionism get in the way so much that with nothing going on with everything that kind of stopped. And I, I mean, I was like at the peak of the hill when COVID started, I was about to book, well, I had booked a [00:14:00] show. I was about to get my equity card. It was really, it was really like a good time for me.
And then it all stopped and it made me really sit and think, like, you're saying about, "Why haven't I started things before? What is getting in my way and how can I push past that fear?" And the advice that I can't stand is "Just do it, just start." And that's the advice that I took, because it really is when, when you...the just starting, isn't the action of doing it. I think it's the like internal work that you have to do to get rid of that. Stop that fear.
Lili Torre: Absolutely. I agree with you a hundred percent that like, "Just do it. Just start" is the most annoying, obnoxious advice. But it really is true. If you can just rip the bandaid off and go for it. It's... the stories that we tell ourselves about all the reasons it won't work or all the reasons we shouldn't do it...
[00:15:00] It can just become such a cacophony of noise that's impossible to sort of discern what's real, what's not, what's actually something that you feel. And the truth is if you just start and you just go for it, you'll know pretty soon if it's just not for you. And like Seth Godin always says, you just have to ignore the sunk costs.
And, you know, sometimes I, I feel like for myself, I have to ignore potential future sunk costs because I'll think, "Oh, but what if I do that? And then I don't end up liking it. And then, you know, I've wasted all that time, effort, energy, money." And, you know, it's like, we live in fear of sunk costs instead of just going for it, and you'll find out along the way.
Lisa Graye: Right. And I am I'm right there with you. And also the "good enough" monster always comes up for me. It's not going to be good enough. And "Telling people" is the [00:16:00] other advice that I usually get. "Just tell people about it. Tell, tell them what you're working on." And for me, that worked for an extent, but it was still...you can tell them, but will the product be good? Maybe I shouldn't tell that person and I needed an actionable step. I needed something that was palpable and tangible for me to do in order to make that accountability for myself and get the thing started.
Lili Torre: So what was that tangible step?
Lisa Graye: It was it's kind of twofold. I gave myself a project during quarantine and I created Quaran-tasty baked goods. It was like my starter of what could be, and I made a few different things at home and sold them to, you know, people in the neighborhood, because this was very much, we were all inside. And so I would leave it on their porch and [00:17:00] that's kind of how it started.
And that kind of gave me the confidence to say, "Okay, I think I could make this bigger. I tried that, what's next?" And again, it started with friends and family and I made an email and I created a... you know, a post on Canva that explained what I'm trying to do.
And I just sent it to people. And it allowed them to order one item and that was it. And people bought it! People bought what I wanted to bake.
So I was like, "Okay! Okay. That's that tangible thing." And then, you know, it connected to the next dot and the next and to where I'm at now.
Lili Torre: Yeah. I mean, that, that evidence that people want, the thing that you have to offer, I mean, what better validation is there than that? And I, I think that's so important, especially right now, you know, just, just [00:18:00] before we got on this call today, I was reading a blog post from Jenna Pastuszek, who we love here on TDQ, and I'll link the post in the show notes.
But she was unpacking advice that she got from an agent, I think, recently when she asked him or her what she should be doing in this time. And the agent was basically like, "You should give yourself permission to like take a sabbatical and just let yourself, you know, let yourself sing, if you want to sing, let yourself continue to practice your craft, but also just let yourself be whatever else comes up for you and whatever else you want to be and nurture those other things in your life."
And I think that everyone is in sort of a different stage of the journey of accepting that in this time right now, and allowing themselves to really go there and do that. [00:19:00] And I think so much of it is exactly what you've said, is just telling people and then just following through and doing it.
And part of the reason I love the idea of, you know, "Just tell people" is A. It invites "big magic", the Elizabeth Gilbert sort of idea that, you know, no idea is truly unique to any one person, that we are all having similar ideas that are sort of in the ether. And by telling people what you're working on, it allows them the opportunity to support you and to say, you know, "Oh my gosh, I had a very complimentary idea, like let's collaborate!" Or whatever may come up from that. I think that's huge.
But secondly, it also just puts you on the hook as soon as you've told people, as soon as you say, "I have this baked good to offer you, would you like it?" And they say, "Yes, I would. Here's money." Guess what? You have to deliver the baked goods.
Lisa Graye: You do, you do indeed.
Lili Torre: And I think that, you know, finding [00:20:00] ways to give yourself the grace and permission to explore these sides of ourselves and to also find ways to put ourselves on the hook are the biggest things that we can do to keep ourselves going.
Lisa Graye: Couldn't agree more. And it's also that idea of creativity versus inspiration.
Lili Torre: Yeah.
Lisa Graye: And that for me, has been what this time is finding a balance of. Because the output of creating baked goods is definitely creative. And then it's like, where am I getting that inspiration from? And how, and you have to invite people in, in order to have them inspire you or vice versa.
Lili Torre: Yeah. So it's kind of like an input and output idea of like, what are you consuming that's going to fuel your ability to output? And yes, I think that's, [00:21:00] that's super important right now because I know that Peter Shepherd and Jen Waldman have talked about this semi-recently on their podcast, The Long and the Short of It, that we're not experiencing the same level of daily stimulus of unexpected stimulus.
Our lives have almost become too routine because we have so much more control over where we go, what we do, who we see, because we're not interacting with that many people. We're not having that many sort of serendipitous interactions. And so I think that's just such a great point that by telling people you, you don't know how they're going to respond.
So telling people is sort of getting the opportunity out there for an unexpected stimulus. And that absolutely fuels creativity.
Lisa Graye: Yes. Yeah.
Lili Torre: I love that so much. I mean, these are such great nuggets for staying motivated right now. And I think that's [00:22:00] everything. And along that brainwave I'm, I'm curious about some of the unexpected or expected obstacles that have come up along this path for you.
Lisa Graye: The biggest one so far has been that people want to be a part of this.
Lili Torre: I hope that's an unexpected obstacle. I hope you didn't think that was going to be a problem.
Lisa Graye: Well, here's the thing I planned last month. So in August I sold 30 baked goods total, and it was great. And I was like, this is awesome. And I put out the newsletter and announced the new baked good and announced the new organization. And within one week I had 30 orders as opposed to 30 orders in a month. And I was like, "Oh, my gosh, I don't know how I'm going to handle this or fulfill this."
And I hadn't planned for that. If I had, I wouldn't have felt so overwhelmed, but you know, that's the learning curve in [00:23:00] this. So that was definitely unexpected.
Lili Torre: So how did you deal with that?
Lisa Graye: Well, I'm still working on that. I think, I think it's a matter of creating systems and a matter of how to organize things and accommodate for one person, being the person behind the scenes and making everything happen and scheduling and asking for help and reaching out and also taking downtime. And sitting on my couch and not baking or not doing anything for one full day and allowing that decompression.
And like we talked about the creativity and the inspiration to replenish.
Lili Torre: Yes, absolutely. I mean, of course it's easy to say, you know, what a great problem to have that so many people want what you offer, but in the moment it's a legitimate problem and it can feel really overwhelming and there are fears, I'm sure, of letting people down [00:24:00] and not being able to meet the demand that you've created.
But you know, I think it really speaks to the power of a purpose-driven, why-aligned business, that people just respond to it. And that's so incredibly validating.
Lisa Graye: Totally. It feels really good to have that response. Meanwhile, to add onto the question that you originally asked, like what was expected versus unexpected. I have no idea truly how to run a business. And so these are things that I am really struggling to learn and figure out and... it might look all pretty and delicious, but behind the scenes, there's a lot of "how do I do this?" Logistically and financially, to keep things... Legal? And to keep [00:25:00] things stable and to keep them going, to keep the trajectory in a positive goal-oriented way, because I don't have a lot of those skills.
So I don't think I really was expecting to have to learn so many skills about technology and about creating and marketing that now I'm having to learn.
Lili Torre: Yeah. I mean, it's absolutely true, especially in something like baking where there is a certain level of regulation involved, and I'm also curious how many of the things that you've learned as a lot of actors talk about like, "Well, I don't know anything about business," and there are definitely degrees to which that is true, but actors are also their own small businesses.
And I'm curious, the ways that you found alignment between the things that you do know and have experienced as a actor/small business and how that's manifested itself in Little Graye Bakery.
Lisa Graye: For [00:26:00] me, the biggest thing is communication
Lili Torre: Yeah.
Lisa Graye: And business is communication.
My grandfather, my Zayde always taught that when you are doing business, it is about human connection. It's not about the sale. And he was a salesman. My uncle and my dad are both salesman and they pride themselves on making a connection.
When you go to visit someone at the floor company, you bring them a baked good, and you ask about their children. And so I think that is also what acting is and what being an actor business person is, is communication and responding to people in a respectful way, having good collaboration skills. And to me that is business. And there's the flip side of it that a business major would say, well, you're missing all of these things [00:27:00] that make it what it is, but truthfully, what you're selling is human connection.
Lili Torre: Exactly.
Lisa Graye: So I think that there's a lot of parallels that come with it. And for me, that is the easiest part.
And that is the part that I hope to continue because those are not things I think you can learn, you know, like the soft skills/hard skills.
Lili Torre: Yes.
Lisa Graye: With the hard skills, those are things I can learn. I can learn how to make a financial spreadsheet, but I can't learn how to talk to someone and be empathetic.
Lili Torre: Exactly. And you know, it's funny, we do talk about these things as hard skills and soft skills a lot. And I was also thinking the other day about how you know, like everything is cyclical. And I think we often think of the type of business interaction that you were describing that your grandfather and your dad were talking about as kind of old school.
Of like having your Rolodex that [00:28:00] says, you know, Mr. Smith has like two kids, a boy and a girl, and make sure you bring that up next time you talk to him or whatever, like that's considered kind of old school sales.
And also again, because things are cyclical, I think that's kind of coming back around, you know, these days it's like computers can do any of the hard skills, better, faster, more correctly than any of us can, but what they can't replicate is that human connection, that deep understanding on that human level and so I think we are kind of swinging back around to a place where that's, what really resonates with people.
Lisa Graye: Yes, it really is this "I want to get out of my phone" feeling. And especially now that we're all wearing masks and missing a huge part of facial social interaction, we are craving that human need. [00:29:00] Right? Like that, I think you're right. I think you're so right.
I love the idea of cyclical. That's why my logo is a circle and I wanted it to be a circle because I do really love the concept of cyclical, especially for women.
Lili Torre: yes, definitely. Yeah. I mean, it's, you're right. Especially right now that level of human connection is important. And I think baked goods play, you know, food plays right into that. So many different cultures equate food and love and care.
And I think especially baked goods because they're not like necessary to keep you alive, though I would beg to differ, but I know that like, you know, the food pyramid says we don't really need it.
Lisa Graye: Eh, there's protein in there.
Lili Torre: Right, exactly. and I, I think that baking something for someone, making food for someone is that deeper human level, love type of thing. You know, it's, there is so [00:30:00] much emotion tied up in that.
And I think that the combination of what you're doing, why you're doing it, and how you're doing it are all so aligned. And it's clearly really resonating with people.
Lisa Graye: I hope so. And you know, it just made me think of, Lili, this idea of "old school versus new school," whatever that is.
But right now I feel like there is a huge need and, a desire for going back to that. Also we are, a lot of us are spending time at home, spending more time with our family, cooking more, having that. And so there's this element to my bakery that is so old school and the way that I like to communicate and handle things versus the social justice aspect, which is very much new school. It's old school because it's it's as existed for centuries, but it is that idea that we are all coming together for a common theme.
Lili Torre: And a [00:31:00] new future, not going back to the way things were, but creating a new future together, even though yes, you're right, social justice is not new, but what it's promoting or the idea behind it is creating a new future. Not going back to the way things were.
And I think that you're right, there is something really interesting in that of the old school meets the new school. And, you know, even the idea of like a woman baking, like that's kind of old school and like, you know, things like baking bread that take a long time and all of that you're right. I think that this is a really interesting meeting of those two worlds and bringing older school ideals into newer school ideals and showing how they can live in harmony. And I think that's amazing.
Lisa Graye: Yeah and also to top that what we talked about in the beginning, "What am I up to?" Change. All of this is to create new, to have the next and again, cyclical. You're going [00:32:00] from the beginning of something, the old way of doing it in order to change and get to the new.
Lili Torre: Yes. Cool. Yes cycles. We love it. That's that's incredible. I love everything about what you're doing and it's just so cool to talk to you because I've gotten to see so much of your journey. And also because I know how new and fresh this is for you. And I think it's really cool to hear.
So I would love to take the opportunity to chat a little bit about, for anyone who is listening, who is thinking of starting a parallel career, what's the number one piece of advice that you would give them?
Lisa Graye: I think the biggest advice I would give someone is to have a support system.
Because Lili, I can tell you that if it weren't for you, this wouldn't exist.
Lili Torre: Oh, that means so
Lisa Graye: Truly, because with [00:33:00] the things that you need, you are creating and what you are working on, you are giving people the space to have accountability, support and partnership.
And that, that is something that is the key to starting something new.
Lili Torre: Yeah.
Lisa Graye: It may seem like I'm doing this on my own, but I have so many women, and I say women because I have chosen to work with a lot of women, backing me up. And without those people giving me validation or even just listening, I wouldn't be where I'm at.
And so I think it's finding those people. And if you don't know where to start, start with Lili Torre.
Lili Torre: Thank you. I'm happy to be the starting line. I, you know, that's, that's so incredibly true and it is definitely one of the goals even of this podcast is just to exist as proof in the world that there are a lot of [00:34:00] people on this journey, on this path with you, and that they're all going through some of the same struggles and some of the different struggles.
And we're all striving for, for similar things. We all want parallel work that is purpose-driven and that supports us and fulfills us. And you know, you're not alone on that journey. So I think, yeah, this, this podcast alone is living proof of that, but also, you know, I've seen the amount of work that you have put into this.
And I get to see it on a weekly basis in The Parallel Path. But you know, I've seen that you are showing up, you are working on this seemingly like every single day, though I believe you when you say you take a day off
Lisa Graye: Oh, I should, shouldn't I?
Lili Torre: Definitely, I highly encourage it at least one. And, you know, but I just mean to say that it's not, it's definitely not easy and [00:35:00] it may look easy, it may seem easy, it may even sound easy on this podcast episode, but the amount of work that I know that you put into this and the way that you roll with the punches and the way that you constantly go back to and check in with the reason why you created this seems to me to be the thing that's keeping you going.
And yes, of course, the community as well, that, that you have, you know, personally in your life and also through The Parallel Path that is here to support you.
Lisa Graye: Yeah. And I think the last thing I want people to think of is that this stuff is easy. Especially for me, I love watching people figure it out and be in the muck. And I hope that I can share more of that muck because that is how we realize that we all have the same or similar fears. And [00:36:00] when I say I had the support system, it is those people that are saying "We're all struggling right now."
And just as a, a little anecdote to my struggle, just to share this, the week that I had 30 orders to fulfill, I was so exhausted. It was so hard. Life got in the way, my grandfather, who I had just talked about, passed away that week. So it was, there was a lot and I was really in the thick of being human, while also trying to work on a business.
And I had my last order to fulfill, it was like 10, 11:00 PM. They had just come out of the oven and I took a fork and ate them all truly because I, I couldn't deal. I couldn't. I was like, "I don't know what to do right now. This person is going to get their order when they get it. I'm hungry. I'm eating it."
[00:37:00] Lili Torre: Yes. Oh my God. I love that so much. I'm so glad that you did that. That's amazing.
And I think as well, you know, one of the things that's, so... it's so funny that we're such empathetic people as artists, but one of the things that's hardest to empathize with is other people's grace that they're willing to give us.
So it's hard for us to like, feel that truly, that someone else will give us some grace, even though we're able to feel so much about other people.
And I think that, you know, as someone who placed one of those 30 orders that week, if you had said to me, "Lili, I'm in the swamp, this is difficult, life is in the way, things are happening. Like I'm not going to get you that order this week." I would have been okay. And I would have been able to say, "You know [00:38:00] what, I completely get it. Next week, I will still be craving coffee cake. So like, that works for me."
But it's so hard for us to... especially, I think when it comes to business, it's so hard for us to believe that people will give us that grace or understand that we're human or understand that, you know, we're experiencing a painful loss. I don't know why that is necessarily, but I am so glad that you were able to give yourself at least a little bit of that grace.
Lisa Graye: Yes. Yes. We have to give ourselves grace in order to remind ourselves that other people can give us grace too.
Lili Torre: Yes.
Lisa Graye: And again, it, it teaches and we learn things from those moments and, for me, it was that moment of, okay, this is too much for me to handle. I want this many orders, but I can make a system or create something that will allow that grace period to still fulfill [00:39:00] the amount of orders, because please, I want as many as I can in order to give more money to the organizations that I'm supporting.
So the more orders I get, the more money we give to an organization, and that's ultimately my goal. So you have to allow that room
Lili Torre: Yeah. Yeah, it's true. And you know, I also think, and what you just said is such a great reminder, that when there is a greater purpose and impact of the work that you're doing, you are infinitely more likely to stay motivated through the hard times. So for you, knowing that the reason that you're doing this is to support these social justice organizations or these underrepresented voices.
And if you don't create a sustainable model for yourself or sustainable system for yourself, that you're not able to support these organizations the way that you want to, [00:40:00] and you know, what could be more motivating than that?
Lisa Graye: Right. Exactly.
Lili Torre: I love that.
Well, we unpacked things that you have found difficult to along your journey. So I also want to hold a little bit of space for what some unexpected joys have been throughout this process.
Lisa Graye: I love watching people eat my baked goods. It's really a simple as that, that brings me so much joy. And I think the other thing is I love having something to do every day
Lili Torre: Yeah.
Lisa Graye: to a big one, because for three and a half months, I was sitting at my parents' house, grieving the loss of our industry, of our relationships, our country, and really didn't know what to do. And getting up everyday was hard.
And I think that starting this has given me a sense of purpose and [00:41:00] has brought me joy just knowing that I personally have something to do.
Lili Torre: Yes, that is so true and so necessary right now. And I just think that your, your journey with Little Graye Bakery is such a cool example of really just someone who found another way to implement their, Why to implement their purpose and just went for it. And did it, because honestly, in the grand scheme of things, this didn't take you that long to, to start and put together. And just like you said, "just start" and go for it.
Lisa Graye: Right. Well, what I will say is that I had been thinking about this for a really long time. It wasn't something that just came to me overnight. It was something that existed inside me that allowed me to finally take action and do it.
Lili Torre: Yes. And that's the thing is, you know, I, I come across so many people who will say, you know, "Yeah, you've convinced me that I need a parallel career, [00:42:00] but I have no idea what it would be. And I just don't even know where to begin." Which is of course why I created Doing It Also.
But it's so funny to me, because the reality tends to be that they knew all along deep down somewhere what their parallel career might be, but they just needed a space in which to validate that, and to air that, to say out loud, like "I might want to start a bakery," and to have people be like, "That makes sense to me," it can be incredibly validating.
And so, yeah, allowing yourself to just get real with what it is that you might want for yourself, and then starting to tell people and then just doing it!
Lisa Graye: And the other thing is I took Jen and Pete's... It was a learning lab for The Long and the Short of It about decision-making and I.. It was either the same week that Doing It Also had started or the week before it, it [00:43:00] just aligned so perfectly where we created a list of: okay. So what are you trying to decide? And mine was, I need to decide to start. And then we created a list of all of the things that we can do to start.
And so after that, it was like, I have a list of 10. We were supposed to write 10 and I think I had like 15 or 20 of all of the things, I know, and I was like, okay, clearly there's means for me to start, I just have to pick a thing and cross it off my list.
Lili Torre: Exactly. It's so easy to get caught up in the, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do, but you do know you just have to pick something and I think you are definitely living proof of that. And I'm just so excited to see where Little Graye Bakery goes. I'm definitely excited to see the future treats that I will be ordering for myself.
And I'm just so proud of everything that you've done. Thank you so much for sharing with us today.
Lisa Graye: Thank you Lili. Truly couldn't have done it without [00:44:00] you.
Lili Torre: I'm so glad this episode came directly after Kevin Schuering's episode, because Lisa is such a great example of what Kevin and I were talking about: taking your why from words to action. Little Graye Bakery so perfectly aligns with who Lisa is and what only she can bring to this world.
As a reminder, Lisa is offering 15% off her Assorted Holiday Cookie Box to any TDQ listeners who mention TDQ when they place their order, now through January 2nd.
And for the rest of your holiday shopping, I hope you'll check out the TDQ Holiday Gift Guide to support these amazing small businesses this holiday season.
Thank you so much for listening. I hope your holidays are off to a happy and safe start. I'm Lili Torre and this has been The Dreaded Question.